Since I've covered most of this in previous posts, I'm gonna do my best to summarize. I'm participating in this project for our 6 angel babies: Curtis, Aubrey, Maverik, Paisley, Carly, and Brody.
Curtis was our first loss. When I was about 6 weeks pregnant, we went out of town for a wedding. The evening we arrived, I had some light bleeding and called my doctor. Because it was the weekend, I was told to rest and come in on Monday. Time moved so slowly. Monday finally came and we went for labs which came back normal. Had repeat labs drawn a few days later and things still looked normal. With the spotting continuing, we were seen for a scan. We were told the dreaded news that I had what appeared to be a blighted ovum. At some point during early development, the baby stopped growing and was absorbed, leaving an empty sac. We were sent home and told to return in a week to confirm the findings. A week later, nothing has changed. We were devastated at the news and scheduled a D&C. I spent much of the following year in a deep depression. We didn't speak of our loss much as it seemed so foreign. We named our baby Curtis and still carry him in our hearts. He was born May 1, 2008. His due date was December 14, 2008. After Curtis, we had 2 rainbow miracles.
In August of 2013, I had a strange period, lasting 2 weeks. I already had an appt scheduled with my primary care doctor so I called to see if there were any hormone labs I needed to have done prior to my appt. She said no that they would probably just do a pregnancy test to rule out miscarriage and go from there. There was no way I was gonna wait for my appt so I bought a test. Was very surprised to see a positive on the test. Called my OB and was told to come in that afternoon. I had been bleeding for 2 weeks so I knew that I had most likely already miscarried. For the 8 hours between my test and my appt, I hoped all would be ok. Sadly, we had already miscarried. We didn't name this baby until our 4th loss. When we gave Paisley a name, we realized we hadn't honored our 2nd & 3rd losses with names. Aubrey was one of the girl names we talked about using when we were pregnant with Arianna so it seemed perfect! Aubrey was miscarried on August 22, 2013. Her due date would've been April 16, 2014.
Maverik did not take us by surprise. We were seen immediately for labs and started on progesterone right away. Within a week, we were experiencing another miscarriage as evidenced by bleeding and bad lab results. We were crushed but determined that we would have a healthy baby soon. We lost Maverik on December 4, 2013. His due date was August 4, 2014.
On April 23, 2014 we found out we were expecting our 7th child. Considering our history, we were hesitantly excited. I was already on aspirin and was started on progesterone right away. Early labs were all great and everything seemed wonderful. At 17 weeks, we had a scan to check my cervix since I have a history of issues. My cervix had shortened and I was placed on different progesterone. We had similar issues with Anna's pregnancy so we knew we could handle it. That weekend, I started having some bleeding. For me, it was a normal occurrence to have bleeding for 12-24 hours at a time. Over th weekend it continued so I called the doctor's office to see what we needed to do. It was my birthday and we were celebrating it with granny over lunch. They asked me to come in for a scan to make sure my cervix was ok. Still thinking all was well, we went to the appt expecting to at the worst be faced with bed rest. Our sweet sonographer had to give us the dreaded news that there was no heartbeat. Since we had planned to keep the sex a secret, we still didn't know if we were having a boy or girl. She took another look and told us we were having a girl. After meeting with the Doctor, we left with the plan to return the following day for induction. After 18 long hours waiting for her arrival, she was born on August 6, 2014. Her due date was January 4, 2015. We only had a girl name picked out which made it easy. We named her Paisley Jane. Jane is my grandmother's middle name and I had hoped she would carry her great granny's name for many years to come.
The grief of losing Paisley after feeling like we were finally getting our take home baby was overwhelming. In the midst of our grief, we found out we were expecting our next miracle. We didn't know what to expect of the pregnancy as we had been through so much. We knew it would be a long road but we were ready to travel it for the end result. Sadly, the end result we had hoped for never came. I was on progesterone and aspirin from the beginning. Once I was about 7 weeks, I became very sick. Very sick progressed to HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) and I had to receive IV fluid and nutrients since I wasn't able to keep food or drink down. It was hell but I would've traveled the journey a million times to have a baby in my arms. At my 12 week appt, baby's heartrate was perfect on the Doppler. We had an appt the following week with the high risk doctor where we would get a scan. As we sat there with the sonographer, I didn't see the flicker of the heart but hoped it was just the machine. She said she needed the doctor to come and get some additional views. Before she left, I asked "there's no heartbeat, is there?" She confirmed that she didn't see one but wanted the doctor to take a look. Our lives crumbled again. Since Paisley's delivery took so much out of me and Carly's pregnancy had been very taxing, we opted to do the D&C. We scheduled the procedure and went home to process the news. I continued to puke and need IV therapy even though my baby was gone. Since we didn't have a definite sex yet, we decided to wait until the chromosome testing came back to give the baby a name. The test results came back showing we had a girl, who had perfectly normal chromosomes. That same day, Mike went to the funeral home to pick up her ashes. On his way home, he thought of her name. When he arrived, he asked if we could name her Carly. I agreed and immediately the middle name Rose came to mind. She was born on December 11, 2014. Her due date was June 9, 2015.
On April 13, 2015 we found out we were expecting again. Given our history, we were seen immediately. Had labs done and received a prescription for heparin, a blood thinner. In addition to the aspirin and progesterone, we decided to try the heparin as a last ditch effort to keep this pregnancy. The pregnancy was much better than Carly's. I was rarely sick. I had a sense of peace about the pregnancy. Things were going along as normal and we were approaching a scary time in our pregnancy, the time where we had lost our last 2. I was using my home Doppler to check the heartbeat and that definitely made me feel comfortable. The morning of our OB appt, I couldn't find the heartbeat. I knew we were being seen so I didn't spend too much time looking for it. Since I had heard it the day before, I assumed all was well and baby was just in a bad position. The doctor searched with her Doppler for some time and couldn't find it so we went for a scan. It confirmed our worst nightmare. We had lost another precious child. One that I had the chance to hear the day before the appt. Since we regretted not being able to hold Carly and felt we missed out on pictures and footprints, we decided to induce instead of have a D&C. His delivery didn't take as long as Paisley's which I was thankful for. We were unsure of the sex but once baby was here, it was evident we had a little boy. We named him Brody which was a name we tossed around when we were pregnant with Preston. He was born on June 25, 2015. His due date is still upcoming on December 25, 2015.
I know I had hoped for a summary but it still turned out to be quite lengthy. Thank you for taking the time to read about our angels and their stories. Their lives, no matter how short, have left a forced impact on our hearts and lives!
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