As mother's are spending time with their little blessings, singing their bedtime lullabies, nursing their sweet bundles to sleep, snuggling and taking in the smells of their joyous addition; I sit in an empty room, surrounded by mounds of maternity clothes. I don't know what's harder, seeing them in the closet everyday or packing them out of sight, knowing you may never use them again. Today seemed emotionally stable so surely I could get through this task. Between the tear soaked clothes and the few pieces of memories we found and added to Paisley's and Carly's boxes, there is nothing stable about my current state. I've entered a state of sadness. One that questions why us, why me, why Carly,Paisley, Maverick, Aubrey, and Curtis. I'll never have a hand painted gift from Carly, I'll never get to hear Paisley say "I yuz you mommy", I'll never get to find Maverick's cars and superheroes all over the house, and I'll never get to read a book to Curtis. Being a grieving mama can make you vulnerable to break at any minute. Tonight, I broke and I'm ok with that!
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